Sorry, but . . . LOL – no. People do try this, though. The purpose of an LLC, and therefore what it ultimately protects, by law, is the business that’s operating inside it. Unless you have turned your personal residence into a business (not really a personal residence anymore), then it’s not protectable this way. However, one of the main reasons people put their business into an LLC is to protect their personal assets, like their home. Nice try, though.
S = “Small”, and, yes, that’s per the Internal Revenue Code.
California varies – sometimes it’s a matter of days, but sometimes, especially at the beginning of the year, it can take a couple weeks. You can always submit your documents on a rush (24 hours or even same day) basis. Other states? It really depends. Delaware’s quick.